I don’t know if it’s a part of getting older, but I’ve been trying to get it together lately.
Meal planning. Cleaning regularly. Making my bed every day. You know, adulting.
I’ve actually found great relief – and I think this is the getting older part – in forming and maintaining these habits. I don’t cringe when I walk into the kitchen. It’s relaxing to come home after work. I don’t worry I’m spending too much on food.
The apartment doesn’t smell like litterbox.
Having two adult roommates (yes that is a total of three adults) means that sometimes, especially in the morning, maintaining good habits is a wild dance.
This morning I felt like I was doing pas de chats and soutenus to get everything done and leave early for a dental appointment on the other side of town. (Another adulting win!) I was feeling pretty pleased with how well I was dancing, too.
I made breakfast the night before and ate it peacefully, sitting down.
I had time to make and drink coffee.
I made my bed!
Did I mention I also took a shower and washed my hair?
I packed my crockpot chicken that had simmered deliciously all night, and made a salad to accompany it, and packed two snacks – one for mid-morning, one for afternoon.
I washed all my dishes because I didn’t have time to unload the dishwasher – I was watching the clock very closely.
And – the piece de resistance – I scooped the litter box.
Yes, I was quite pleased with myself.
Almost whistling, I marched out the front door promptly at eight with work bag and delicious packed lunch in tow.
I started to pull out of the parking lot, and I know what you’re thinking – she’s out of gas.
But I wasn’t!
I gave the clock another trimphant look as I started to jam out to some great morning tunes:
My appointment is at 8:00.
8:00 AM. Today. NOW. TWO MINUTES AGO.
And the dentist’s office is twenty five minutes away.
From a soaring height to a crashing fail. It’s still a little sore. Even though they were so nice and they still had time to take me even though I was ridiculously late; even though the appointment itself took only 10 minutes because the Lord in his infinite wisdom blessed me with teeth I hardly need to take care of (he knew I’d forget to floss); even though I got to work earlier than I even originally expected; even though I was 100% prepared for the meeting I was supposed to lead when I got there.
It still smarts.
It’s just nice to feel in control of your home life, you know? That’s how I know I’m officially “adult.” I need control. I can’t sleep on the couch or roll with the punches. I gotta have my routine.
I have to admit, I felt all kinds of embarassment and shame at not being able to something as simple as remembering that arriving at eight does not equal leaving at eight. I really like to pat myself on the back for getting things together as well as I have, even though it’s not perfect, because it’s all so contradictory to the absent-minded scatter-brained haphazard essence of my person.
It’s a lesson in humility. And grace. The world didn’t fall apart because I was late for my dental appointment. My world didn’t even fall apart.
It just kept on turning.