Comparison Sickness

This post is about being weak.

Weakness, it seems, is the theme of my life lately; being weak and learning to be OK with that. I don’t like to be weak. (Who does?) I like to be strong, I like to be smart, I like to be capable, I like to be healthy.

God likes to remind me: Corinne, you are not sovereign. You are not God.

I’ve been out of the office most of the week, sick in bed at home with…a cold. Just a stupid cold. This is a recurring theme in my life. I won’t go into it now. But inevitably, when I’m laid up in bed with a cold, snorting and sniffling and hacking, I think, “I should be at work. Other people go to work when they have colds.” I start to feel guilty. I feel guilty that my body is weak and needs inordinate amounts of sleep and rest to keep a cold from turning into sinusitis.

Just like I feel guilty when I struggle with budgets and details and staying organized at work. “I should be better at this stuff. Other people are better at this stuff.”

That’s all there is to this post. I didn’t sleep a wink last night (side effect to some medication) so I’m jolly on top of the world right now and groggily sifting through emails and trying to remember,

He knows my frame (he made it)

He remembers that I am dust (he knows my weaknesses)

He heals all my diseases (halle-freakin-lujah praise the Lord!)

He redeems my life from the pit (darkness is temporary)

He crowns me with steadfast love and mercy (he has not forgotten me)

He satisfies me with good (I will be satisfied in him, I will be at rest)

So that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

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4 thoughts on “Comparison Sickness

  1. Your posts are of very good taste. This one was genuinely creative. Unfortuanately you don’t write as often as you used to before. But that’s okay! I’ll be holding my breath endlessly waiting for your next post which will surely be even better than this one 🙂

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